


Bottled Up Emotion (It's More Than A Notion)

by Firalla11



Series: Dreamwidth Transfers [4]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Animal Transformation, Chicago Blackhawks, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-06 20:16:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17351888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firalla11/pseuds/Firalla11
Summary: There's a little mutt puppy sitting up by the pillow, square-faced and short legged and staring back at Brandon.





	Bottled Up Emotion (It's More Than A Notion)

**Author's Note:**

> I was prompted Saad/Shaw 'puppy love' and, uh, ended up with Puppy!Shawzy, as one does. _8.2k_ of Puppy!Shawzy. You know, this was supposed to be a ficlet?
> 
> Title from Billy Currington's "[I Got A Feelin'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFHBzVZMXk8)"

Brandon groans, knuckling at his eyes. His alarm isn’t going off, so what the hell woke him up?

He sits up straight at a long, warbled noise, frowning at the far wall. Is that _howling?_ It sounds like it’s coming from nearby, but none of his neighbours have dogs. Maybe he’s hearing things. It’s late– early really, considering the time, and he’s only been asleep for a few hours. He’s probably imagining–

The sound comes again, longer and… sadder, if he had to put a word to it.

He gets to his feet and snags a hoodie from the hook by the door. He tugs it on as he heads into the hall.

The sound comes again as he shuts his door behind him, and that– sounds like it’s coming from his guest room, and the only person, the only thing that should be capable of making that sound is Andy, who crashed there last night.

Brandon knocks on the door. He blinks in surprise when it swings right open, not fully latched, apparently.

“Andy?” Brandon whispers, sticking his head into the room.

He frowns. It’s hard to see – the light is very dim – but it doesn’t look like anyone’s in the bed?

He bites his lip, then he shrugs to himself – if he wakes Andy up he’ll apologize – then he flicks on the light, blinking into the sudden brightness.

He freezes when his eyes adjust.

No, there isn't a person in the bed.

But there is a little mutt puppy sitting up by the pillow, square-faced and short legged and staring right back at him.

Brandon looks around for a camera as he goes into the room, crouches by the bed. This could be Andy trying to prank him – that’s his first thought, that that’s what this is.

His second is that he can’t see Andy leaving a puppy this small alone like this, especially not long enough for it to get so upset.

He reaches a hand out carefully. The puppy sniffs his fingers, then gives them a tiny lick before resting its head in Brandon's hand.

Brandon smiles, charmed.

The puppy is brown and blank, with black triangle ears that curl down at the tips, its fur sticking up all over the place, soft to the touch. Its fur is more wiry on its face, darker above its eyes, almost like it has eyebrows. There’s a white mark on its face, too, under its right eye… right where one of Andy’s scars are.

Brandon stares.

This happens to some people sometimes, in times of stress, or extreme emotion – the triggers are different for everyone – he _knows_ that, but he’s never known anyone it happens to.

At least, he didn’t know he knew anyone.

If this a prank, then fuck it, Andy’s got him, he’ll take whatever chirps this earns him. “Andy?” he murmurs. “Is that you?”

The puppy snuffles, stares. It’s not looking at Brandon with raised eyebrows, it’s _not_ , but if it– if he could, Brandon's sure he would be, smirking the whole time.

Okay, Andy it is.

The puppy pulls away then, makes its way to the edge of the bed, a little wobbly on the soft surface. He stops at the edge, waves his foot, then looks at Brandon pointedly.

Brandon laughs. “What? Too small to get on the floor yourself? Is that what all that noise was about?”

He reaches for the puppy– for _Andy_ , Jesus, snorting when Andy nips at his fingers, not hard enough to hurt, just playing, then Andy bounds a few steps back.

He races forward, leaps at Brandon before Brandon can think to ask what he’s doing.

He catches Andy, scoops him up, holds him to his chest as he falls back on his ass.

Brandon laughs weakly, his heart pounding in his chest. Andy’s small enough to fit in one of his hands. The bed to the floor is easily a three foot drop – a long way for such a little dog. What if he’d _missed?_

“Hey, careful. I don’t want to drop you”

Andy noses at him, then breathes a tiny sigh.

Brandon smiles despite himself, getting to his feet and padding out into the hall. He’s awake for good, he guesses. At least they have today off.

He turns the kitchen light on, gathers everything he needs to make breakfast one-handed. Now that he’s holding Andy, he doesn’t want to put him down, and Andy isn’t squirming, so. He seems to be okay with it.

He finally sets him on the counter when he starts to cook. It’s probably not hygienic, but he doesn’t want to step on Andy. He’s _very_ small, and Brandon's not used to having him around like this.

“Please be careful,” he says, putting turkey bacon in the pan. “Don’t know how I’ll explain it if you fall.”

Andy barks softly, then nudges the package towards Brandon. Brandon pauses, eyeing Andy, then he shrugs and adds a couple extra strips to the pan. He doesn’t know what else to feed him.

He seems content with his scraps of turkey bacon, though, once it’s finished cooking, eating until his stomach is round. He flops down on the counter when he’s done, stays that way while Brandon cleans up.

Brandon scoops him up again once the kitchen is clean, takes him back to his bedroom so Brandon can pull on a pair of sweats and grab his phone, then he heads for the living room.

He stretches out on the couch, flat on his back, with Andy on his chest. He’s facing Brandon, his head on his front paws, watching Brandon through liquid brown eyes.

He’s been surprisingly chill for Andy, at least so far. Brandon's suspicious. And grateful. He’s not sure what he would’ve done if Andy had been a terror right off the bat.

He hesitates, then he reaches down, rubbing between Andy’s ears. Andy snuffles another sigh.

Brandon gets lost in it for a little while, the texture of Andy’s fur – soft. Very soft. It’s puppy fluff – and the heat radiating from his tiny frame.

Andy’s eyes are mostly shut by the time Brandon feels awake enough to face the day, to make bigger decisions than what he wants to eat for breakfast, his tea finally waking him up.

He sighs, and Andy’s eyes flick open. He has questions, but he’s not sure how Andy’s supposed to answer them when he’s like this. All he can do is try, he guesses.

He brushes his finger over Andy’s ear, grinning when Andy flicks it at him. “What do you normally do while you’re like this, huh?”

Andy tilts his head, then he stretches, getting to his feet and walking down Brandon's torso. And if _that_ isn’t one of the weirdest things he’s ever felt, he’s not sure what is.

Andy noses at the pocket with Brandon's phone, then sits on his haunches. Right. He should call someone. That- makes sense.

He wiggles his phone from his pocket, pauses with it unlocked. “Who am I supposed to call?

Andy shoots him a baleful look.

“What?” Brandon says. “I think that’s a reasonable question, you know, seeing as you’re a _puppy_. Who would even know anything about that?”

Andy gives a whuffling little sound and nudges his phone again. Brandon sighs. “How ‘bout I read names and you tell me when I get to the right one, huh?”

Andy bumps his head against Brandon's hand again. Brandon looks down at this screen. It’s open to his text conversation with Nick.

That makes as much sense as anything, he guesses. Nick and Andy are close, if anyone has answers, it would be Nick.

He hits the call button, holds his phone to his ear while it rings. Nick’s voice is overly chipper considering the time. “Hey, man,” he says. “You’re up early.”

“Hey,” Brandon says. “It’s, uh. Not by choice?” Nick makes a questioning sound and Brandon takes a breath, bracing himself. The worst that will happen is Nick will laugh and tell him to get more sleep and he’ll have to call the team, probably, for answers. They’d have to know this about Andy, right?

He should probably call anyway, actually, because if this lasts into tomorrow he’s going to be missing at least a practice–

“Saader?”

Brandon scrubs his hand through his hair. “Sorry, uh. It’s just– I think Andy’s kind of a puppy right now?”

Nick doesn’t even pause. “Again? You want me to come get him?”

“What? No, that’s okay, we’re fine.” Brandon says, fast. He doesn’t want that at all, though he can’t explain how he got attached to puppy Andy so quickly. Maybe it’s an Andy thing. Or maybe it’s the fact that he’s in love with Andy. Maybe it’s both. He pauses. “What do you mean _again?_ ”

He can practically hear Nick’s shrug. “It’s happened a couple times. Last time it was during a break so he didn’t miss any games or anything. We just hung out,” Nick says, like it’s most natural thing in the world to ‘hang out’ with your friend-turned-tiny-dog. “He has some stuff here for when it happens. I can bring some of it over, if you want?”

Brandon grins, watching Andy’s ears prick. “I think he’d like that.”

“Be there in ten,” Nick says. There’s a beep, signaling the end of the call. Brandon reaches up behind him, sets his phone on the table at the end of the couch, then he goes back to petting Andy, laughing softly when Andy squirms onto his back so Brandon can rub his belly.

They both startle when they hear a key in the lock, but it’s not a mystery who it is; they both have keys to each other’s places. It's just easier, with how much time they spend bouncing between here and Nick and Andy's place.

Andy squirms, trying to get to his feet. Brandon picks him up and sets him on the floor instead, watching him race off, skidding a little on the tile in the hall as Brandon gets to his feet.

Nick’s crouched in front of the door when Brandon gets there, petting Andy, pushing him around a little.

Andy’s giving playful little yips as he turns in circles, bumping into Nick’s hands. His tail is short, but he’s wagging it as hard as he can, shaking his whole frame in his excitement.

Brandon swallows. It would be stupid to be jealous over how happy Andy is to see Nick, but. He is, a little bit. Andy didn’t seem nearly so happy to see _him_.

He shakes his head at himself and goes over, offers Nick a hand and pulls him to his feet. Nick grabs the bag of stuff from the floor and they head into the living room, Andy running in ahead of them. They sit on the couch, Andy on the floor between their feet.

“I only brought a few things,” Nick says, pulling a small collar and a leash and food and water bowls out of the bag and setting them on the low table in front of the couch. “The basics and a couple of toys. I wasn’t sure what he would want.”

The toys turn out to be a rubber thing, and a stuffed bear that’s almost as big as he is. Nick squeezes it, makes it squeak, then he tosses it on the floor.

Andy barks then pounces on it, tail wagging.

“He eats whatever meat you have on hand. He says you can’t really fuck up his meal plan while he’s like this, so.”

“Right,” Brandon says. “Right.” That’s one thing he doesn’t have to think about, at least.

Nick bumps their shoulders together. “You sure you don’t want me to take him? I really wouldn’t mind.”

Andy looks up from his toy. He’s obviously following along with the conversation, has already demonstrated he understands more than dogs normally do. Brandon stares back, holding Andy’s gaze. “What do you want?”

It’s one thing to want Andy to stay with him, but he never actually asked what _Andy_ wants and that’s– it’s something he needed to do.

Andy shifts, moving to sit closer to him, tugging the bear with him.

“Does that mean you want to stay?” Andy wags his tail. Brandon nods. Okay then. He’s a little nervous, admittedly, about being responsible for Andy like this, but. He turns back to Nick. “I think we’ll be okay. Thanks though.” He can always call Nick if something comes up. “Anything else I need to know?”

Nick shrugs, cheeks going faintly red. “He’s, uh, housetrained?”

Andy shoots Nick the dog equivalent of a withering look. Brandon bites his lips to keep from laughing. Nick nudges Andy with his toes. “What? I’m just saying, man. You’re a dog. There has to be some thought put into that.”

Andy huffs and goes back to chewing on the bear. Nick winks at Brandon then he picks Andy and the bear up, setting Andy on the couch between them. Andy barely pauses, gnawing on the bear’s ear.

“He told me he changes back when he’s ready,” Nick says. “Not like he can control it, I mean, but like there’s nothing anyone can do to speed it up? So just– keep an eye on him, I guess?”

Brandon nods. He doesn’t plan on letting Andy out of his sight. Who knows what kind of trouble he can get up to while he’s this small.

They sit, watching Andy for a while, then Nick sighs. “I should head out.”

“You can stay,” Brandon says. He’s not in a hurry to kick Nick out. He has no plans for the day.

Nick smiles. “I would, but I have a couple things I need to pick up while I’ve got the chance.”

Brandon inclines his head. He gets that. Sometimes errands pile up and they have to cram them all into one of the few days they don’t have anything scheduled, like today. Nick ruffle Andy’s ears, a little less gentle than Brandon's been so far.

Andy squirms, twisting around and grabbing Nick’s fingers in his mouth, shaking his head and growling softly.

Nick laughs, pulling his fingers from Andy’s mouth and wiping them on his jeans. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Nick,” Brandon says. Andy woofs.

The front door shuts a moment later, then they’re alone. Brandon eyes Andy. “Now what?”

Andy gets up, looks between Brandon and the stuff Nick left on the table. “You want to go out?”

Andy barks, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Right. Outside it is.

Brandon snags the collar, looking it over before he puts it on Andy. It’s red leather, with a little metal tag on the front that reads _Andy_ and another that marks him as a shifted human. Huh.

Andy stills while Brandon buckles the collar around his neck and clips the leash to it, then he paws at the air at the edge of the couch. Brandon snorts and puts him on the floor, walks with him to the door.

He pauses. “Let me grab a jacket, then we’ll go.”

He drops the leash to put his jacket on. Andy’s got the handle of the leash in his mouth when Brandon looks down. He laughs. “What? Going to take yourself for a walk?”

Andy barks. The leash falls to the floor. Brandon laughs harder, picking up the leash again. He grimaces when he realizes it’s wet.

Andy shoots him a doggy-grin. Brandon shakes his head and opens the door, watching Andy wiggle his excitement as they head down the hall and into the elevator. He has his nose to the ground, sniffing loudly as they go.

He sticks close to Brandon as he explores though. Brandon appreciates it. The last thing either of them need is someone tripping over him.

Brandon fills Andy’s water bowl when they get back, then he starts making lunch. He grimaces when Andy comes over, water dripping off his face onto Brandon's feet – entirely on purpose, he thinks. Andy’s just as much of a shit as a puppy as he is when he’s a person.

Brandon feeds him extra chicken once it’s finished cooking, and they go back to the living room once he’s finished cleaning up.

He tosses Andy’s rubber toy for him for a while, laughing when Andy has to spin quickly and race after it when the toy bounces in a way he doesn’t expect.

He comes over and sits at Brandon’s feet eventually, stays put when Brandon throws the toy again. He yawns, tongue hanging out of his mouth.

“Ready for a nap?” Brandon asks. Andy bumps his face against Brandon's shin. That makes two of them.

Brandon hesitates, then he shrugs, picking Andy up and setting him on the couch beside him. He’s not going to make Andy sleep on the floor.

Andy shifts until his head is on Brandon's thigh. Brandon scratches between his ears, then runs his fingers down Andy’s back. He leaves his hand there, tangling his fingers in Andy’s fur.

He settles in to watches TV while Andy sleeps. At least, he tries. He must doze off too, because the next thing he knows, Andy is standing with his front feet on Brandon's thigh, bumping his head into Brandon's stomach, trying to wake him up.

Brandon blinks blearily as he checks the time, resting his hand on Andy’s neck. It’s almost time to eat. Again.

“Hungry?” Brandon asks. Andy barks softly. Brandon grins and picks him up, taking him to the kitchen to start dinner.

He takes Andy for another walk after dinner, wincing at the cold. The breeze goes right through his clothes. Andy doesn’t seem to like it much either, despite his fur. He doesn’t spend time sniffing around, doesn’t linger outside, practically pulls Brandon back to the door when he’s ready to go in.

Brandon picks him up once they’re inside, frowning when he realizes Andy’s shivering, just a little. He tucks Andy inside his jacket until they get back to his apartment, then he toes off his shoes and unbuckles Andy’s collar, leaving it on the table by the door.

He covers his mouth with the back of his hand when he yawns. Maybe he should make this an early night despite his accidental nap. Between the late arrival home and Andy waking him up, he didn’t get nearly enough sleep last night.

He heads down the hall, pauses at his door, then he shrugs. He’s not leaving Andy in the other room by himself.

He sets Andy on the foot of the bed while he gets changed. “Gonna be an early night for me, I think. I can leave the TV on for you though, if you’re not ready to sleep yet?” A little extra noise won’t keep him up.

Andy flops down on his belly though, closing his eyes. That’s a no to leaving the TV on, he guesses.

He pulls a t-shirt on, though he doesn’t normally sleep with one, and gets into bed, flicking the lamp off before he settles on his side. There’s only enough light to make out vague outlines of everything. There’s barely a difference when he closes his eyes.

“‘Night, Shawzer,” he murmurs.

He doesn’t get a response. Not that he was really expecting one.

He’s just drifting off when movement wake him up again. He doesn’t bother opening his eyes. He wouldn’t be able to see anyway.

He waits, realizing Andy’s making his way slowly up the bed, mattress dipping – slightly; he’s not very heavy – by Brandon’s knees, then by his hips, then Andy’s curling up in front of him, shifting close until he’s pressed right against Brandon’s stomach.

“Comfortable?” Brandon asks.

There’s a pause, then Andy snuffles a sigh.

He’s going to take that as a yes.

*****

Brandon wakes up to Andy standing on his chest, peering down at him through familiar eyes.

“Still a puppy, huh?” he mumbles.

Andy leans in and licks his cheek.

Brandon groans, wiping his face off. “Did you just–”

He grabs for Andy, but Andy jumps away, rolling onto the bed, settling with his front down, his butt up in the air, wagging his tail.

Ready to play.

Brandon groans again but he sits up, making joking grabs at Andy while Andy darts away from him, then back again.

Brandon holds Andy to his chest when he finally grabs him, presses his face to Andy’s fur without thinking, smiling into the softness, and maybe that’s weird, but Andy doesn’t seem to mind. He’s stopped squirming, even, is looking up at Brandon with his mouth hanging open as he pants.

Brandon grins, then settles Andy in his lap. Now’s as good a time as any to ask Andy about this, he guesses. “You know we have skate this morning, right?” Andy tilts his head, ears flicking towards him. “Do you want to go?” Brandon continues. “I can stay home if you don’t, take a maintenance day…”

He trails off. Andy’s shaking his head. It’s odd, seeing a puppy do that, stranger still because he can’t recall Andy doing that yesterday, but he needs to remember the puppy in his lap isn’t _just_ a puppy. This is Andy too. This is Andy _mostly_ , with just a little puppy mixed in.

“You want to go then?” Brandon asks. “You’re okay with the guys finding out?”

Andy nods. Brandon smiles, scratching gently down Andy’s spine. “Then I have to get ready. _Please_ try not to get into trouble while I shower.”

He sets Andy on the floor and grabs his clothes. He leaves the bathroom door cracked, just in case. In case of _what_ , he doesn’t want to think about.

He moves through his shower as quickly as he can; considering he just woke up, it’s not very, but he doesn’t hear any suspicious noises, so. He’ll consider it a success.

He blinks when he pulls the curtain back.

Andy’s curled up on a shirt that hadn’t quite made it into the laundry bin. He looks like he’s gone back to sleep, his ears twitching, sides moving as he takes deep breaths.

Brandon smiles softly. Andy makes a really cute puppy.

He dries off as quietly as he can and steps out of the shower to get dressed. Andy stretches as he does. Brandon bites his lip, trying to school his expression before Andy can see what has to be a helplessly fond look on his face.

He’s not sure he manages it.

*****

“Why do you have a dog?” is the first question Brandon's asked, nearly the moment he walks into the locker room.

He shrugs. “It’s Shawzy.”

Sharpy stares for a long moment, probably trying to tell if he’s joking, then he bursts into laughter, coming over to them. “The Mutt is _actually_ a mutt?” He looks down. “Why didn’t you tell us, huh?”

Sharpy reaches to pet him. Andy grabs his fingers in his mouth. Sharpy yelps.

Brandon blinks.

Andy’s done that to him and Nick both and didn’t hurt either of them. “Guess he didn’t like you laughing at him,” he says, dry.

Sharpy huffs and goes back to his stall. Brandon goes to drop his bag in his, then he heads out to the video room, Andy in his arms.

He takes a seat near the middle of the room after explaining who Andy is to Smitty and Boller. He wonders how many more times he’s going to have to say it before everyone knows.

Jonny comes to sit beside him as the room fills up. “Hey, buddy,” he says, scratching under Andy’s chin. He’s already heard then, or he already knew.

Andy wiggles a little. Brandon grins, his hand still on Andy’s back, holding him steady in his lap.

Jonny meets Brandon's gaze after another moment. “He’s been like this since yesterday?”

“Yeah, yesterday morning. He was like this when I woke up.”

“And he’s been staying with you?”

“Yeah?” Brandon says. He thought that was obvious, but maybe not?

Jonny nods. He’s rubbing Andy’s ears now. “We can have someone watch him, you know. It’s not– you don’t have to be responsible for him.”

Brandon frowns, winding his fingers a little more tightly through Andy’s fur. He wishes people would stop saying that to him, asking him if this is what he wants. He’s sure. And it’s not like any of this is _hard_. Andy’s been extremely low maintenance. And even if he wasn’t, he’d still want Andy to stay with him. It’s nice, having company in his apartment. Doubly so because it’s Andy. And this way he doesn’t have to worry about puppy Andy getting himself into trouble. Hopefully, anyway. As long as this is still what Andy wants.

“We’re okay,” Brandon says, looking down. “As long as it’s still okay with you?” He grins when Andy licks his wrist, then he turns back to Jonny. “It’s really not a big deal.”

Jonny nods. “If you need a break though…”

“I’ll call someone,” Brandon promises.

“Good,” Jonny says, then Q walks in, silencing conversation as he takes his place at the front of the room.

Andy sits in Brandon's lap as they go over the tape from their last game, and of the team they’re playing in a couple of nights. He’s paying attention to what they’re being told, though Brandon's not sure how well he can see the screen. They’ll deal with that later though, if they even need to. He has no idea how long it’s going to take for Andy to be human again.

They finish the video and Brandon carries Andy back into the locker room, talking with Nick as they go. He settles Andy in the bottom of his stall while he gets dressed, off the floor, out of the way of sharp skates. If there was ever an accident he wanted to avoid, it would be that.

He picks Andy up again once he’s dressed and goes off to find a trainer. He has to leave Andy with someone while he’s on the ice, and Mike’s a solid choice. He’ll keep Andy safe. And from getting bored.

Still, as hard as Brandon tries not to be, he’s distracted all practice, wondering what Andy’s up to. He doesn’t like that he doesn’t know.

He’s one of the first ones off the ice at the end of practice, but he waits to take Andy back until he’s dressed so he doesn’t have to worry about him while he showers. A whole lot more could happen here than back at his apartment.

He dresses as quickly as he can, says a fast goodbye to Nick, then he heads out, heads for the trainer’s room. He runs into Mike in the hall, carrying Andy. “I was just coming to find you,” Mike says. “I think he's ready to see you again.”

Andy’s squirming in Mike’s arms, trying to get to Brandon. Brandon reaches out to take him before he can fall.

“Careful,” he admonishes, trying to keep his voice even. For a moment all he could imagine, all he could see was Andy falling, but now that Andy’s not in danger of that, he can let himself be pleased that Andy was so excited to see him, let himself think of that to try to calm his racing heart.

Andy squirms a little more, until he plants his front feet on Brandon's chest. Brandon doesn’t get a chance to ask what he’s doing before Andy licks his cheek. He rolls his eyes but he can feel his face heat. “Thanks,” he says, dry.

Andy barks but shifts again, until he’s settled in Brandon’s arms. Brandon shakes his head and looks up to thank Mike.

Mike waves him off. “It was no problem. Nice to have some company.”

Brandon smiles. He knows exactly what Mike means.

He rubs between Andy’s ears. “Ready to go?”

Andy nods, then settles his head against Brandon's arm. He says goodbye to Mike, then they head for the car. He puts Andy in the passenger seat as carefully as he can. Andy licks his fingers before he pulls away, then he curls up on the seat.

He sleeps all the way home, grumbles sleepily when Brandon picks him up again. He’s a dead weight in Brandon's arms all the way up to his apartment. Apparently Andy doesn’t need a walk, doesn’t need to play to wear him out today.

Brandon rubs his back as he toes off his shoes. “Gonna come nap with me?” he asks.

Andy wags his tail, just a little bit. Brandon takes him into his room and sets him on the edge of the bed so he can get out of his suit. Andy yawns and sits up, stretching as Brandon pulls a t-shirt on.

Brandon rubs his ears then circles the bed to get in, tugging the sheets up. He closes his eyes, waiting, but there’s no movement after Brandon stretches out, not this time.

Andy’s sitting at the end of the bed – exactly where Brandon left him – when Brandon cracks an eyelid, and he has no idea why. He pats the bed in front of him, watching Andy’s ears perk up. “What’re you waiting for? C’mere.”

There’s a pause, then Andy bounds up the bed as fast as his tiny legs will carry him. He stops just before he crashes into Brandon, wagging his tail and looking… uncertain, if Brandon is reading him right. Who knows if he is. Andy’s a dog, and he’s never seen Andy look uncertain before. He could be wrong. But if he’s not…

He settles his hand on Andy’s back, urges him closer. Andy scoots a little further up the bed, then flops down beside him, his back to Brandon's chest.

Brandon smiles. He smooths his hand down Andy’s back until he falls asleep.

*****

They go for a walk after they nap, longer than yesterday’s, giving Andy a chance to explore, and hopefully, if Brandon's lucky, using up the energy Andy woke up with; he was racing up and down the hall until Brandon suggested they go out.

He’s glad he did now that they’re out here. It was raining off and on this morning, but it stopped sometime while they were asleep. Everything is damp, but it’s not overly cold and the sidewalks aren’t puddled too badly.

Some of the gutters, however…

Brandon's just about to ask Andy to move away from the road when the traffic light changes and a car comes whizzing by, splashing Andy with murky grey water

Andy yelps in surprise, darting away from the curb, backing up right into Brandon's leg. He startles again, whipping around to look up at Brandon's face.

Brandon crouches down, careful not to kneel in the water. “You okay?” he asks.

Andy nods, but his head is hanging, his fur matted with dirt. Brandon grimaces. “I think you’re going to need a bath when we get back.”

Andy heaves a sigh, one that seems to go through his whole frame. Brandon rubs his ear, then wipes his hand on his pants. Andy’s shivering a little. “Time to go home?”

Andy nods. Brandon straightens. “C’mon then,” he says.

Andy sticks close to his side the entire way back to his building. Brandon unbuckles his collar when he gets in, eying the way Andy is standing with his head drooped, still soaking wet. “Wait here,” he says, scratching briefly at Andy’s chin. “Let me grab a towel.”

He toes off his shoes, abandons his jacket on a hook as he makes his way to the closet and back. Andy’s sitting where Brandon left him when he gets back, dripping on the mat by the door.

Brandon bundles him in the towel and takes him straight to the bathroom, holding him in one arm while he kneels by the tub, waiting for the water to warm up. He sets Andy in the tub when it’s ready.

He doesn’t have any dog shampoo, so the best he can do is rinse him off with clean water, try to get the worst of the dirt out with that and careful fingers. Andy stands under the tap, letting him do it. Brandon shields his eyes from the water as he nudges Andy back, nudges his head under the spray.

He turns the tap off when he judges Andy’s as clean as clean as he’s going to get. He looks even smaller than usual with his fur watered down, his head still hanging, but there’s mischief in his eyes now.

Brandon eyes him, then he sighs. “Go ahead and shake.” Andy tilts his head. “Yeah, really. Go on.”

He’s already damp anyway. Andy hesitates, then he does it, water splashing over everything, Brandon included. His fur’s a little more fluffed up when he’s done.

“Happy now?” Brandon asks. Andy gives a tentative tail wag, his ears pricking a little. Brandon laughs and scoops him up, bundling him up in a clean towel until the only part of him Brandon can see is his face. “How does watching some TV sound?”

Andy yips, so Brandon takes him out to living room, keeping him bundled in the towel, in his arms until he’s dry. His fur is sticking up everywhere when Brandon removes the towel. He bites his lip, but he laughs when Andy huffs at him, turns away from, heads down to the far end of the couch to grab his stuffed bear.

He drags it back to Brandon, growling faintly. Brandon doesn’t bother asking if he wants help; he tried that yesterday and got glared at for offering.

This time he waits, smiling faintly as Andy makes it back to his end of the couch and curls up against his thigh, his paws wrapped around his stuffed bear.

Brandon settles his hand in Andy’s fur and turns his attention back to the TV. He’ll make dinner in a little while, but for now he’s more than comfortable.

So is Andy, judging by the snuffling sound he makes as he sleeps.

*****

Brandon sighs. “That’s not helpful, dude.”

He’s been trying to fold laundry since he got back from practice, but he made the mistake of putting Andy on the bed with his clothes, and Andy’s spent the entire time bouncing around and tipping over the piles of things he’s already folded.

He doesn’t have the heart to put Andy on the floor, not when Andy seems to be enjoying himself. He likes seeing Andy happy, he always does, even when he’s being a brat. Maybe especially then.

That probably says something about him, but he’s not going to think about it too closely.

Brandon groans and sits down on the edge of the bed. Andy comes over to him after a moment, rolling over and asking for a belly rub. Brandon snorts, but he does it, grinning when Andy wags his tail, squirming closer to his hands, tongue hanging out of his mouth.

He plays with Andy, roughhouses with him a bit until his stomach growls, then he picks Andy up and takes him out to the kitchen. He probably carries Andy more than Andy walks when they’re home, but he likes having Andy close, so. He’s not going to stop until Andy complains.

He turns the radio on when they get there and sings along to the first couple songs. Andy joins in the next one, howling high and reedy; Brandon laughs so hard he has to stop singing, has to stop cooking to wipe tears from his eyes.

Andy’s shooting him a doggy-grin when Brandon looks over. Brandon shakes his head and goes back to cooking. They eat in the kitchen when he’s done. It’s easier than trying to take Andy and both their dinners anywhere else.

Brandon sets his plate on the counter when he’s done, taking Andy’s bowl to the sink to rinse it out. He pauses halfway through drying it, watching Andy inch closer to his mostly empty plate. He’s trying to be sneaky, Brandon thinks, but he’s really not pulling it off.

Brandon reaches over, picks the plate up before Andy has a chance to snag any of the leftover bits from it. Andy turns, looking at him, then at the plate in his hands, wide-eyed, hopeful.

“Not a chance,” Brandon says. He bites his lip, biting back a smile. “Unless you want to do a trick for me?” he teases.

Andy shoots Brandon a look that tells him exactly what he thinks of _that_.

Brandon laughs, ruffling Andy’s ears with his free hand. “Didn’t think so.”

He sticks the plate in the dishwasher, then turns pack to Andy. “Seriously though, are you still hungry? I’m sure I can find you something.” Something that isn’t Brandon's leftovers, at least.

Andy sighs and shakes his head, dropping down on his stomach to wait for Brandon to finish cleaning.

“C’mon,” Brandon says when he’s done, picking Andy up and taking him out to the living room.

He settles on the couch with Andy in his lap. Andy shifts around a little, then he settles too, Brandon's hand on his back, feeling him breathe.

It’s only their third day together with Andy like this, but they’ve fallen into a routine already – breakfast, then out for a walk or out to the rink, then home for lunch and a nap, then a walk, then dinner, then hanging out in the living room, then bed – it’s not a surprise, he guesses. Their lives are built on routines.

Tomorrow will be different though. It’s a game day. He’s not looking forward to spending that much time away from Andy, but he doesn’t have a choice.

He’s sure it’ll be fine though. Someone will be with Andy the whole time – it won’t be _him_ , but Andy’s not going to get into trouble just because someone else is with him.

They sit through the newest episode of The Bachelor together. It’s not Brandon's favourite but he knows Andy likes it – or at least follows it – so he doesn’t mind spending an hour or so on something mindless, focused more on the fur under his hand than he is on the TV.

He puts on a movie after that, scrolling through Netflix until Andy makes an interested sound. It’s some action movie that seems to be mostly explosions. Part of him wonders what it’s like to Andy, how different it all sounds while he’s a dog. Not too different, he guesses, or at least not bad different; Andy’s not flinching at any of the noises.

Then again, it’s possible he fell asleep before they got very far into it. Time for bed then. Brandon shakes his head and turns off the TV, trying to stand up with Andy in his arms without waking him. He does okay until he has to put him down again.

Andy yawns, stretching at the foot of Brandon's bed while Brandon gets changed. Andy doesn’t lift his head from his paws until Brandon goes to get into bed, and even then all he does is blink at Brandon for a moment before he gets to his feet.

This time he doesn’t wait for an invitation before he comes up the bed, flopping down beside Brandon, a familiar warmth, a familiar weight against his front. As far as Brandon can tell, he goes right back to sleep.

Brandon looks down. He can just make out Andy’s tiny form pressed against him in the dim light. He’s sure everything he’s feeling is showing on his face. It’s good that no one can see it.

He smooths his fingers through Andy’s fur, lightly enough that he won’t disturb him. Andy snuffles in his sleep. Brandon smiles at the sound, though his chest feels a little tight.

Puppy Andy is great, a lot of fun to spend time with, but he misses human Andy. He misses being able to have a conversation; misses the way he hangs off people in the locker room, touching just because he can; misses being able to laugh with him over stupid shit.

He just– misses Andy’s laugh a lot. And he misses Andy’s smile – the big, bright one he wears around the whole team after he does something to make someone laugh, and the smaller more private one, the one he wears around Nick. And Brandon too, he thinks, when they’re sitting around, just a few of them, just the two of them, even, talking about nothing, just keeping each other company.

He misses that too. It’s not like they haven’t been keeping each other company these last few days, but it’s different – not _bad_ , but different – and as much as he likes puppy Andy, he’s ready to have his best friend back.

*****

Brandon wakes up but he keeps his eyes closed, reaching to silence his alarm before he realizes it’s not going off. He cracks an eyelid, then opens both eyes wide, realizing why he’s awake.

Andy’s frozen, half-sitting up, human now and definitely naked.

Brandon keeps his eyes up, blinking into the semi-darkness. “You’re back,” he says, unnecessarily.

Andy swallows, nods. “I’m back.” He pauses. “I, uh. I should. Go, probably.”

He sounds reluctant, Brandon thinks. Or maybe he’s projecting. Either way, he speaks before he can think better of it. He blames the fact that he just woke up. “Or you can stay.”

Andy stares. “I– what?”

Brandon bites his lip. “I mean, if you want?”

His heart is beating so loudly it’s a wonder that Andy can’t hear it.

“I was pretty comfortable,” Andy says.

Brandon breathes a silent sigh, though his heartbeat doesn’t slow. His mind is racing now too, going over every implication of that, every meaning – Andy _wants_ to stay. Is _going_ to stay. He swallows. “Then you should come back here.”

Andy nods, hesitating a moment before he slips under the covers, but he shifts right over to Brandon once he's moving. He puts his head down on Brandon's chest and snuffles out a sigh so reminiscent of his puppy self that Brandon has to stifle laughter.

He closes his eyes again, trying to settle his mind, trying not to think about the fact that Andy is naked under his sheets, only Brandon's clothes keeping them from being skin to skin everywhere they’re touching.

He lets out a long, slow breath, trying to calm down. He _needs_ to calm down. For all Andy is in his bed, wrapped around him like he is, he can’t think about it. They can’t talk about it, not now.

They have a game tomorrow. He has to sleep. They both have to.

They’ll talk in the morning. For now he’s going to enjoy this, enjoy having Andy pressed tight to him until Andy’s deep, even breathing lulls him to sleep.

*****

Andy’s gone when Brandon wakes up. He tries not to be disappointed – Andy’s a morning person, it’s not a surprise he’s not still in bed – but he still feels it, a little.

He showers quickly but he takes his time getting dressed. He’s not sure he wants to go out to find Andy gone.

But he can’t put it off forever. They have skate this morning, and he has to eat before he goes.

He pads out of his bedroom and down the hall. He stops in the kitchen doorway when he sees Andy’s there, fussing over a pan on the stove, dressed in a t-shirt and a too-big pair of sweats. Brandon's. He’s too relieved to see Andy there to say a word about it.

Andy looks up then, over his shoulder, like he realizes he’s being watched. He smiles at Brandon. Brandon smiles back reflexively. He thinks he sees Andy’s shoulders relax.

“Hey,” he says as Brandon goes further into the room. “I made breakfast.”

He stops beside Andy, in front of the stove. Andy has an omelette cooking. “Looks great,” Brandon says. “But you didn’t have to, you know.”

Andy shrugs. “Figured it was the least I could do, seeing as you’ve been feeding me and all.”

“It was no big deal,” Brandon says. It really wasn’t. He just had to make a little extra every time he cooked. Not a big deal at all.

“So you keep saying,” Andy says. He pauses to fold the omelette. “It was a pretty big deal to me though.”

His cheeks are faintly red when Brandon glances over. He nudges Andy. “You’re welcome, then.”

Andy nudges him back, handing him a full plate from beside the stove. “Hurry up and eat. Before it gets cold.”

Brandon takes it with a smile and rounds the breakfast bar. There’s tea already waiting in a pot on the counter. It steams when Brandon pours it.

Brandon cuts into his omelette and hums around the first bite, makes sure Andy hears it. He tries not to grin when he sees Andy’s cheeks darken.

Andy joins him at the counter a minute later with his own omelette, his mug already full when he sits.

They’re quiet while they eat. The silence is surprisingly easy. There’s no awkwardness, no sense of anticipation. They’re just there, enjoying each other’s company like they always do, despite having plenty to talk about.

Brandon sips the last of his tea, thinking. When they do get to talking, he’s not sure he knows where he wants to start.

“Do you know why–?” Brandon cuts himself off, biting his lip. He guesses he knows where he wants to start after all, though he hadn’t meant to say anything.

Andy’s looking at him when Brandon looks over. “Why I changed?” Andy finishes.

Brandon nods. “You don’t have to answer, obviously.” It’s personal. He’s not going to demand an answer, curious as he is.

Unexpectedly, Andy flushes, but he sets his fork down and tilts his chin up. “I get lonely sometimes.”

Brandon's chest hurts, suddenly, at the implications of that. “So you turn into a puppy.”

“People don’t like leaving you alone when you’re small,” Andy says. He’s quieter than Brandon's ever heard him.

Jesus _Christ_. “You’re always small,” Brandon says, elbowing him gently.

“Fuck off,” Andy says, but it’s lacking its usual heat.

Brandon bites his lip. Andy looks tired, sad in a way Brandon's never seen him. It hurts as much as his words.

He takes a breath, then shifts on his seat, slow enough for Andy to stop him, but he doesn’t. He lets Brandon hug him, his arms tight around Andy’s chest, leaving just enough space between them that he can still see Andy’s face. It takes a moment, but Andy hugs him back, just as tight.

“I don’t want– you know you can– if you need this…” Brandon trails off, frustrated with himself, with his inability to get the words out. He knows what he wants to say, knows what he wants to offer, but can’t _say_ it.

“What?” Andy says. “Are you offering to be my cuddle buddy or something?” His voice is dripping with derision, but the look on his face...

“Yes,” Brandon says, because that’s _exactly_ what he’s offering. Though he’d maybe use a different term.

Andy blinks at him, his hands fisting in Brandon's shirt. “Oh.”

“I mean, if you want,” Brandon says, nervous suddenly. Maybe he read this wrong?

“You think I would’ve told you that, stayed with you this morning, these last few days, if I didn’t?” Andy asks. He shakes his head. “I mean, shit, B, I’m pretty much gone on you, I…” He trails off, eyes going wide.

Brandon freezes. “Andy.”

Andy swallows audibly. “We can pretend I didn’t say that? Go back to the part where you said you’d be my _cuddle buddy_.” He emphasizes that, trying to make it a joke, Brandon thinks, but he doesn’t manage the tone. He looks worried, sounds even more so, and that’s not– there’s no reason for him-

“I can still be that if I know you’re in love with me,” Brandon says, soft, holding Andy’s gaze. He smiles crookedly. “Think that might make it easier, actually, seeing as I love you too.”

Andy stares, a slow, answering smile lighting up his face. “Does that mean we can– I can do this whenever I want?” He holds Brandon tighter, telling Brandon exactly what he means by ‘this.’

“It’d make me pretty happy if you did.”

“Oh,” Andy says, and his surprise stings, but it’s understandable, maybe, considering his switch-trigger is _loneliness_.

It’s okay though. If Brandon has his way, Andy’s never going to feel that again. He’ll miss Andy as a puppy, maybe – part of him regrets letting himself get so attached so easily – but he’s more than willing to go without if it means Andy’s _happy_.

Maybe some of what he’s thinking shows on his face, or maybe Andy’s just following a similar train of thought, because he tilts his head and says, “You know, some people can learn to trigger their change. I never tried. I never really saw the point.” Because he’d still be alone, even if he was a puppy on purpose, Brandon thinks. “But now… I could maybe try to learn?”

“Totally up to you,” Brandon murmurs. “Obviously. But I’m more than happy to have you every way I can get you, so if you want to try then you should. You’re a lot of fun as a puppy.”

“I’m fun all the time.”

Brandon inclines his head, smiling when that makes Andy duck his, rest it against Brandon's shoulder.

They need to go soon, they have to go by Andy’s to get something for him to wear to skate, but they can spare a few more minutes, he thinks, if it means they can sit like this a little longer.

**Author's Note:**

> And a not!fic epilogue:
> 
> They've been together for a while, and they're happy. Things are good. They've got Andy's dog stuff boxed up in a closet, accessible but out of the way, and Brandon's going to Do His Best not to let Andy ever feel bad enough that he turns into a puppy again, though, selfishly, he does miss puppy Andy. But he doesn't bring it up, and after Andy mentioned maybe wanting to learn how to trigger his change on his own, then haven't talked about it since? 
> 
> So Brandon sort of figures he changed his mind until he finds Andy sitting on his bed one night, tiny collar in his hands. Andy doesn't look up from it until Brandon sits beside him, and when he does his smile is a little sad. He speaks without any prompting. "I miss it, you know?"
> 
> Brandon doesn't, not really, but he squeezes Andy's knee, urging him to keep going. "It's just- what if the only way I can be him--" he shakes the collar pointedly "--is if I'm..."
> 
> "Not happy?" Brandon finishes, gentle. He doesn't think that's true, not when he knows other people have learned. He can't imagine they all have positive switch-triggers, and he can't imagine the ones that don't would put themselves through whatever their trigger is just to change, but he understands Andy's reluctance.
> 
> Andy sighs. "Yeah."
> 
> Brandon settles his arm around Andy's shoulders, presses his lips to Andy's hair. "I can't answer that," he says. "But you could find out, if you want?"
> 
> Andy nods. "I'll think about it."
> 
> It takes a couple days, but Andy decides he wants to find out, wants to learn how to trigger the switch, if he can, and it takes a little bit of time and a little bit of research, but they find a doctor to talk Andy through it all.
> 
> He's beaming when he meets Brandon in the waiting room. Brandon's heart leaps. "Good news?"
> 
> "I think so," Andy says, and he leaves it at that until they have a couple of free days. 
> 
> Brandon doesn't ask, lets Andy keep his secrets because they make him smile, until Andy comes to him that morning to ask if he can maybe try switching?
> 
> Brandon says yes. Of course he says yes. 
> 
> So Andy explains that he's not sure he'll be able to switch back easily, that that's why he had to wait to try, because he can't miss games, not for this, not on purpose, then he heads into the other room.
> 
> Brandon spends a long, anxious minute on the couch alone, then Andy comes trotting out, wagging his tail and spinning in circles until Brandon picks him up. He licks Brandon's cheek.
> 
> (He does get stuck as a puppy for a couple of days. Neither of them mind.)


End file.
